Dentist Gripes:
Last week I went to the dentist to have my teeth checked up. I don’t really mind the dentist too much, but I think they are a little demanding. The entire time they are scraping and scrubbing, they are barking all kinds of commands. I always thought picture day during school was bad. Those photographers always demanded you to do the most insane things to get the right pose.

“Take you right hand and make a dog puppet out of it. Now place it directly about the xiphoid process, applying strong even pressure. Make a fist with your left hand and force it under the first thoracic vertebrae. Now rotate the upper third of your body towards me 30 degrees. Say “girls smell like curious by Britney Spears” while gargling this cup of water!” My pictures always turned out perfect when I could accomplish all of that, but i was usually too focused on breaking my unbreakable comb (I still haven’t broken one, just lost all of em’). The dentist takes it to a whole different level. First of all, he sometimes ask me to do things that I don’t know how to do. For instance, he might say “hold your tongue back for me.” I don’t know how to do that, so I instinctively try to swallow my tongue. This appeases the dentist, so I guess it is what he wanted. I spend most of the time trying to convince my gag reflex that all the tools in my mouth aren’t there to hurt him, so calm down. It’s hard to do that when they are using that mechanical tooth brush that is spraying crap everywhere in my mouth. And what is the deal with the flavors they always use? Apparently mint isn’t doing the job, so they have all these
“other” flavors. The flavor’s are always things that I cannot find on the toothpaste isle at the local grocery store. I’ll list some for you, with their actual taste in parentheses.

• Mango (cat poop)
• Tropical (an old baseball cap soaked in ginger ale)
• Dreamsicle (you know when you would take a G.I. Joe action figure, and pull his head away from his legs and inside were some rubber bands that were holding him together, but still allowed you to twist his torso in opposite directions? Those rubber things)

I’ll take mint on the next go around.
On top of all of this, they always give my a crazy set of instructions for brushing my teeth. Almost all of my teeth are straight, except one little shit that is cockeyed, just because he is feeling crowded by my molar, WHATEVER! I’m not going to brush at a wacky angle just for this guy! He needs to shape up, get in line, and get his cleaning with everyone else. I’m afraid that if I start giving him special treatment, all of my other teeth will want the same thing, ain’t happenin.

Movie time:
In this summer of trilogies, I’ve been pretty disappointed. Spider-Man 3 was a good movie, but nowhere near as good as the others. Pirates 3 was so-so, maybe if I wouldn’t have been so tired it would’ve been better. Do not fret, the trilogy savior is here. Ocean’s 13 completely cleaned my movie palate with its deliciousness. Now, I’m no film aficionado (nor am I a spelling aficionado, so I had to look up aficionado for these last 3 uses), but the film work in this movie is awesome. The character’s are pretty funny and snappy dressers to boot. The story had enough twists for me, and I love the clever schemes they come up with to pull off their heists.

Summer time?:
Well it is summer, but not in all its summeryness. It has rained everyday, it seems, for the last 2 months. I don’t like constant rain because I make excuses to be lazy. I don’t just avoid doing outside activities, I avoid activity, haha. As soon as it does warm up, it’s going to be humid as hell. At least then I’ll have a new excuse to avoid activity, I’m getting tired of the raining one.

Currently Gaming Monster Rancher 2 see related

a man who knows what he wants

Currently Listening I Am the Movie By Motion City Soundtrack Indoor Living see related

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